Alright now, let us get to talking about dating. Now, this is something I’ve been planning on doing a blog about for a little while now. I just, well, never got around to it. (and chances are I'm going to re-do this one soon enough)
So, first off, lets get into the ‘meeting people’ part of things. Most people have their first relationship(s) at some point during the last four years of school. This is because it’s fairly easy to meet people at school, and a lot of us develop crushes on fellow classmates, and some of us get up the courage to actually ask them out, and the lucky ones end up in a relationship. This is what happened to me. I was in grade 8 and got up the courage to ask out a boy who was in the grade above me. And he said yes. So we dated for a long time, and some time after about a year, he promised me his hand in marriage, and I accepted. And by the time I was 17 I got engaged. But five days after I graduated from school, he broke up with me. We tried to stay friends, but that lasted only about a two weeks until he blocked my from his life and a few days later he and his new girlfriend told me to kill myself, saying that everyone would be better off without someone like me existing. Apparently he hated me because I was too clingy after he broke up with me, and told me I needed to grow up and learn a thing or two. It was with that in which I got some sense knocked into me. And my longing soon turned into hate. I felt hopeless, alone, and trapped. I had no idea how I was going to be able to find someone else. Someone I could love and care for. I had looked for companionship in any way I could get it. And it led to me finding a brief evening companionship with a younger friend of mine.
I knew that as soon as you get out of high school, the whole dating world completely changes. Things are not just as easy as walking up to someone and asking them out(to be your girlfriend/boyfriend)
It was a few months later when I had gotten into my second ever relationship. He happened to be a former friend of my ex (they went to the same summer camp together)and he and I were friends for a few years by that time. I at first I didn’t want to date him until we met, even though he would keep asking. And then he told me he loved me, but at the time I didn’t have the same feelings for him. But as time – You know what, why am I even getting into the details of my past affairs like this? However their points may be related, I should perhaps have things less, personal? Anywho! The whole getting out there part, isn’t as hard as it seems. There’s many different ways to go about it. You can do the different methods I did. One was with high school. If there’s someone in your class, of your school that you really like, you should go for it! I know everyone stops themselves from doing this because of the “what if” factor. But you know what? It’s going to bug you even more if you pass up your chance. Who knows, maybe they might really like you too, but were too scared to ask! You’ll never know until you try. And if things don’t work out, then hey, on the plus side, you can move on and try for someone else when you’re ready.
Next thing you can try if you’re not in school anymore, is you can see if any of your friends or family know someone and get them to kind of set the two of you on a date. And if that doesn’t work for you, you can always try the good ol’ interwebs. I know a lot of people are like “oh mah gawd!! Erryone iz a cereal killarrrr on dah interwebz!!” but that’s not true. I’ve met a couple people from the internet, one of them ended up being just a friend, and the other ended up being the man I love dearly, whom is also sitting beside me right now playing Golden Axe II while I type this.
Now this brings me to the ‘dating’ part of things. Now, I’m not very good/experienced with the dating part of things. With that I mean that I’m used to the “Hey, I like you!” “I like you too!” and *poof* you’re in a relationship. So I’m not sure I’d give the best, ‘advice’ for this section of things. But I know from my current relationship, that it can be handy to kind of have a ‘one month’ rule type thing. Essentially where you’re dating each other and getting to really know each other and build up stronger feelings before getting into a full relationship. (at least that’s my understanding of it? Like I said, this part isn’t my forté) – Blah! You know what. How about we skip this part until I can better talk about it. (most likely just ask a few people on their dating tips and then combine them up)
NOW! The relationship part. Now, I’ve only been in two previous relationships, one being three years long, and the other being five and a half weeks long. (and my current one has been almost three months now) So I would like to think that I’ve got some credibility when it comes to my advice on being in a good relationship.
The five key things in any relationship are:
- Honesty
- Trust
- Compromise
- Understanding
- Communication
1) Honesty.
The reason why this is such an important thing to have in every relationship, is because if someone is being dishonest a lot, you're going to lose trust. So it's always best to just be honest when you're confronted with something. Because I can guaranteeing you that at some point in your relationship, they're going to figure out the truth of what you were dishonest about, and it's going to be a whole heap worse than if you were just honest in the beginning.
2) Trust.
Trust is super important for any relationship. If there's no trust, it's simply not going to last very long. Why? Because you're going to assume the worst out of almost every situation. And that's going to lead to a lot of fights. And every relationship has their breaking points. And after so many weeks/months/years of the stress that mistrusting someone brings, the relationship is going to come to an end.
One thing you have to keep in mind though, is that not every person you have a relationship with is going to be the same. For example, you may have had say, 8 previous relationships, and they all ended up cheating on you. But that doesn't mean that the person you're currently with is going to cheat on you. Maybe you've finally met the person you're going to be able to spend the rest of your life with. You never know, so at least give them a chance.
3) Compromise.
People don't seem to think about compromise in a relationship very often. But compromise is a very important thing. Because not every relationship is going to be perfect where each person gets exactly what they want. But that's why you are going to have to compromise. And it can't always be just one person always doing the compromising either, it has to be both people doing it equally, or else it will cause stress on someone because they never get to have/do what they want.
4) Understanding.
Understanding is very important. Everyone is bound to have their differences, insecurities and alike, and it's important to be willing be understanding about those things. Overtime working on those insecurities and differences and such, can help make them less. And maybe some insecurities can be eliminated altogether.
5) Communication.
Now, everyone should know that communication is one of the most important things in any relationship. Granted, talking about things that make you insecure are not always easy, but it does more damage in the long run if you keep things like that bottled up. Reason being is that these things have a tenancy to play on your mind, and the stress builds up. And you end up finding that at some point, someone ends up 'blowing up' because things keep building and building until it reaches it's breaking point. And, you really cannot 'punish' someone for something if they didn't know it was "wrong".
You always have to express your feelings about things as soon as possible. It might not be the easiest right away, but it will get easier.
Just remember, no relationship is perfect. They're always bound to have their ups and downs, that's why you have to work together, as a team to overcome obstacles and difficulties. It's what will strengthen your relationship in the long run. You help each other learn, grow, and better yourselves, together as a team.
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