Okay. Now, on Facebook I had seen some talk about if it's acceptable for someone who's in a committed relationship, to have a wandering eye (as in, checking out members of the opposite sex) and/or to have possession of porn.
Now, I only have about, 30 minutes to write this so I'll try to have this done, otherwise you guys might have to wait until late tonight for me to have time to post this. Okay. So, keep in mind, this is MY personal opinion and how I would personally feel, if I was in such a situation.
In regards to the 'wandering eye' part, I don't find it really acceptable. (of course this depends on what kind of relationship you are in, some people find that flirting with other people to be completely acceptable. I don't) Because, at least for me, it would make me feel, some what inadequate, and it would be hurtful and make me feel insecure. To me, it's like a silent way of saying that, that person is hot. Though to me, it's not as bad as if they were to openly say someone was hot/attractive or whatever, because if they were to openly say so, then for me it would be worse, and I would find myself comparing myself to that person for weeks, because it would bug the heck out of me, and I would nit-pick out all the things that I feel they have better than me, and I would be damaged for a bit. (And perhaps I make that sounds a bit more extreme than in actuality.) But in short, I wouldn't find it acceptable to check out other people of the opposite sex. But that doesn't mean people arn't allowed to just look at other people, because, come on now, you can't really stop someone from looking at someone, and also, if you find your significant other 'checking out' other girls/guys, then don't immediately assume they want to get with that person. Maybe they liked what they were wearing, and thought you'd look good in it too. You never know what's actually going on in their head, so it's not fair to assume the worst.
Now for the porn part. Okay, I know this part would have a lot of debate about it, because a lot of people have a lot of very different views when it comes to porn. I know most people will say that it's a big no-no when in a relationship. But it really depends on both people. I was in a relationship where we both frequently watched porn, and on occasion we'd watch it together. But I was young and didn't really think too much about it. Now, I guess I'm somewhat on the fence about it personally. Like, if someone is open about the fact that they watch porn, then it's fine, because if you try and hide the fact, then it's somewhat suspicious. Also, it's not such a great thing if one watches porn A LOT, and by a lot, I mean like, basically every day, and/or if you require it to 'get off', because then it can be kind of an issue, and it may have some concenquences in your own sex life. Now anyways, to address more on the point on if you should get mad at your significant other if you find they have possession of porn... To me, it depends. First, if you already know that they watch porn, and maybe you were fine with it until you found their stash, then, I don't think you are warranted to get mad at them, but you should discuss the matter with them, and explain how it upsets you, and if you're lucky, they'll agree to stop watching porn. And that brings me to my next point. If they agree to stop watching porn, and you find they still have a stash, and you know for a fact that they've watched porn after they agreed not to, then you can get a bit upset with them, but I don't think it's a make or break kind of thing. Now, if say, you're starting out in a relationship, and they say that they don't watch porn or anything like that, and then you find out after a while that they do, then, I'd personally be upset, more so on the fact that they lied, than that they actually watch the porn. Now, the only kind of porn I don't find acceptable to watch while in a relationship, is live porn. (You know like those live webcam sites where you can watch people have sex or masturbate and such) Because it's different than watching professional porn actors doing that kind of stuff. And it becomes no different (in my opinion) than if you watched a friend on skype or webcam have sex or masturbate for you. In short, is watching porn acceptable in a relationship? It depends on the context I guess, like, if they're watching porn for educational purposes (like for new ideas on things to do in the bedroom) then I think it's fine. But other wise it depends on the people in a relationship, each relationship works differently, and it's something both partners need to discuss before it becomes a rule of whether or not they can watch porn.
All in all, It really depends on the individuals and how each person feels about things, but I think one should discuss the matter, before getting really mad and such. But if it(I'm more regarding porn here) becomes a problem in regards to your sex life, then I believe it's an issue that should be worked out. But every relationship works differently. What may make things a healthy relationship for one couple, may be something that could ruin another couple's relationship. Each relationship differs.
Anyways, I think I've made my point. If you have any thing to say or question, then just leave a comment below :) I am off! Ciao~!
